blog201, poems

Performing at the Stanza

I performed this poem at a venue called the Stanza

I will explain some of the golfing terms the three main ones are albatross which is three under par an eagle is two under par and a birdie which is one under par.

The artless Golfer

As I walked out, upon the green

Ball and tee in hand

I took the driver from the bag

Then I made my stand

Off it went into the blue

A magnificent sight to see

The driver is still missing

While the ball sits on the tee!

The crowds all stood in silence

This had not been seen before

The judges all just shook their heads

Then added six shots to my score.

Now the next hole it was different

As I took my swing

Some dived into the bunkers

And phoned their next of kin

I lined up for the next hole

They said it was par three

Then I shot an albatross

And it landed in the sea

An eagle was flying overhead

When my next shot hit a tree

The ball shot up into the air

Now the eagles in Dundee

I placed the ball upon the tee

A birdie turned it back

A lump appeared within its throat

When I gave that ball a whack

The moral of this story

If you, play golf with me

To play your shot in safety

Then hide behind a tree

I headed for the nineteenth hole

The members stood their ground

You must never come back here

They said! To play another round.

Ray Johnson.

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